Turn around (or upside down)

I've been in a funk the last few days.  Some reasons are clear, some not, but either way I need to turn things around.  So here is me taking that pretty literally.  I haven't been as motivated to push myself creatively, and this post wasn't all that challenging either (besides trying to get into a headstand in the amount of time it takes my timer to go off), but it was a good reminder to me to push through these difficult times and also to see myself in a new light.  The back story to this is that I started practicing yoga last summer, which I am totally addicted to now, and pretty early I was introduced to this pose, technically called Sirsasana.  I loved the feeling of being upside down (I was being assisted into the pose at this point) and became absolutely determined to learn to do it without help.  This from the girl who can barely stand on one foot for more than a second or two.  I have horrible balance.  So of course the first week or two of trying to force myself to learn this were disastrous.  I quickly reached the point where I would normally give up.  I often become inspired to do something new or different, and I never stick with it.  So I've spent a good bit of my life feeling defeated but as though I ought to be capable of more (hence the beheaded goddess).  But, as I learned more about yoga, I came to realize that the pointlessness of trying to force myself to do something I wasn’t ready to do and then feeling bad about how I couldn’t do it.  So instead of giving up, I tried to accept where I was at, and started practicing this pose up against a wall and didn’t worry about it too much (other than periodically doing this pose throughout the day just because I loved it so much).  And then, a couple of months later, a teacher showed me a slightly different way to position myself, and all of a sudden I found my balance.  It was incredible, I’m not sure I’ve ever felt so good about myself.  But here is the kicker, without the strength I had built the previous two months of doing the “wimpy” version of the pose I wouldn’t have been ready to learn to do it without the wall.

So maybe that is what this blog, this year of photos, is all about.  Building my strength, and preparing me for the day I get the opportunity to do something I never dreamed possible.